


Christmas Carols?

by MavenAlysse



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Christmas parodies, Gen, Just a day with coworkers and family, singing for the fun of it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-22
Updated: 2013-05-21
Packaged: 2017-12-12 14:36:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/812683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MavenAlysse/pseuds/MavenAlysse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A day at Ranier University brings both confusion and joy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Jingle Bells

Title: Christmas Carols? (in 6 parts) 

Author: MavenAlysse  
Spoilers: none   
Setting: On the University's grounds - the Christmas after Sentinel, Too.

Disclaimer: All Sentinel characters and settings belong to Pet Fly and are by no means being stolen for any nefarious purposes (as if being canceled wasn't nefarious enough). As I am a teacher, and everyone knows that teachers don't get paid much, suing really won't get you anything but an eclectic collection of books, CDs, video tapes, and comics. There is an OC in this - but trust me, there wouldn't have been much of a story without it.

Archive: Yes to both Cascade Library and Guide Posts

Warnings: Please read all six short stories before deciding that I am a Scrooge. All lyrics were made up by myself, some of my friends, or overheard in my classrooms (the things some of my students think up!) and are not intended to insult anyone. Please take these in the fun spirit in which they were thought up in.

Thank you.

 

\- MavenAlysse  
"All learning begins with these two phrases: I don't know. Let's find out!"

 

 

Christmas Carols? part 1

 

                Blair Sandburg sat in his office, his window cracked open an inch to keep the small room from getting stuffy. The snow had finally stopped falling, leaving the campus looking clean, crisp, and serene.  Outside his door, in the hallway, the beginnings of a song floated through the air: ~Dashing through the snow...~ 

                'Well, perhaps not so serene.' Blair started on his grading, one ear partially tuned to the caroler as she made her way past his office and towards the exit.

   
                He blinked in astonishment at the next line: ~In a beat-up Chevrolet. Over the fields we go, killing all the way. Ha - ha - ha. ~ He heard the door swing open.  Putting down his pen, he strode over to the window, waiting for the singer to appear on the stairs. A young lady, with a well-worn backpack on one shoulder, skipped down the steps, her wide grin almost muffling the words: ~Bloody bobtails bang. Making spirits bright. What fun it is to ride and sing a slaying song tonight.~ 

                Blair shook his head, a rueful smile on his lips as he listened to the ... colorful ... rendition of Jingle bells. The girl hopped the last two steps, backpack bouncing as she rounded into the chorus: ~Oh, hack and slash, hack and slash; kill them where they lay. Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one-shot killing slay. Oh, hack and slash, hack and slash...~ 

                Blair saw the professor turn the corner of building just as the singer did. He grinned as she smoothly transitioned into the traditional song, slowing the rhythm down: ~Jingle all the way. Oh, what fun it is to   
ride... ~ She nodded at the professor, who smiled back. As soon as the man had entered the building, she slid back into her "new" song: ~In a one-shot killing slaaaaayyyy!!!~ 

                Blair snickered to himself as she walked out of his view. "Merry Christmas."


	2. Silver Bells

Christmas Carols?  Part 2

 

 

                Simon Banks walked towards Hargove Hall, his son, Daryl, at his side. The two were meeting with Blair to discuss college options. A young lady sat at the edge of the fountain, a well-worn backpack at her feet. She was staring at the water, singing to herself.

                As they got closer, Simon smiled as he heard the familiar tune of Silver Bells. But, he blanched as her words finally registered:

 

                ~Burning balls. Burning balls.  
                It's torture time in the dungeons.   
                Ring-a-ling. Hear them scream.   
                Soon we will know all we need.~

 

                Simon quickened his pace, hoping Daryl wouldn't comment. Part of his mind was horrified at the lyrics, while another, more analytical part of his brain recognized that the girl didn't seem aware of their presence. Her voice was low, but the snow amplified the sound and carried the song further than she probably intended.

 

                ~Light a pyre. Build it higher  
                Till they blister and bleed.   
                Watch their faces as they all turn green.~

 

                Simon winced at the huge smile on his son's face. "Cool. Hey, dad, think Blair will lend me some paper so I can write down those lyrics? My group will think it's the bomb!"

   
                'ARRHHH!! Joan will have a fit!' Simon tried for the reasonable approach. "I don't think..." But Daryl was already humming, snatches of the "new" song passing his lips. Turning, he noticed that the student had picked up her backpack and was making her way across the square. "Merry Christmas," Simon thought to himself, despairingly.


	3. Deck the Halls

Christmas Carols?   Part 3

 

 

                ~Deck the halls with boughs of holly.   
                Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.~

 

                Jim Ellison strode through the campus grounds on his way to Blair's office. He had promised to bring a book the younger man had accidentally left at the loft and needed for a later lecture. A group of students stood in the square, caroling. He mostly ignored them, the song just background noise. As they started the second verse, he caught one voice softly singing alternate lyrics:

 

                ~Deck the halls with poison ivy.  
                Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.   
                'Tis the season to be naughty.   
                Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.~

 

                He scanned the crowd, finally focusing on a young lady standing off to one side. She was watching the carolers, a grin on her face. He wouldn't have even heard her if he hadn't been listening for anything   
unusual.

 

                ~Break a window, pop a tire.  
                Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.~

 

Strangely enough, there was no bitterness apparent in her voice. In fact, Jim could have sworn he heard a hint of laughter as she sang. She sang with enthusiasm and cheer - just, not the right lyrics.

 

                ~Kick your Granny in the fanny.  
                Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.~

 

                As she finished, she gave a wave to the other carolers, hitched her backpack higher on her shoulder, and walked off towards the Student Union Center as the others swung into a third verse.

 

                Jim shook his head, muttering to himself as he increased his pace, "And a Merry Christmas to you, too."

 


	4. Winter Wonderland

Christmas Carols? part 4 

 

Joel Taggert and Megan Conner walked from the square towards the Student Union Building. They were going to be meeting Blair for lunch, but were early and decided to check out more of the campus. The small group of carolers finished 'Deck the Walls' and started singing 'Winter Wonderland.' 

Joel smiled as Megan hummed along with the music. "Did you used to do any caroling back at home, Megan?" 

"Some. Though you Yanks have some songs that I've never heard before." 

As if to prove her right, they heard a high, sweet voice that got softer as if the singer were walking away from them. ~Lacy things, the wife is missing. Didn't ask her permission. I'm wearing her clothes, her silk pantyhose. Walking 'round in women's underwear.~ 

Megan stared at Joel, incredulously. "Are all you Yanks this crazy during the holidays?" 

Joel blinked, his own expression shocked. "I sure hope not. 

College kids are weirder than most, though." 

Megan nodded in agreement, "Sure, if Sandy is any indication." She shot off a sardonic salute in the direction of the fading singer. "Merry Christmas, mate."


	5. Joy to the World

Christmas Carols? part 5

 

 

                Detectives Brian Rafe and Henry Brown were interviewing a witness in one of the dorms on campus. Thanking the young man, the two strode out.

 

                "Plans for this evening?" Brown asked his partner.

 

                "Jim and Blair are holding the poker game at their place tonight. Are you going?"

 

                "Wouldn't miss it. This time, I'm going to figure out Sandburg's secret. No way is he going to win my money tonight."

 

                Rafe just grinned.

 

                The two walked through the lobby, heading for the door. Faintly, from outside, they heard the beginnings of a traditional carol, that turned decidedly odd:

 

                ~Joy to the world, the school burned down, and all the teachers died!~

 

                Puzzled, the two detectives looked. They could see a student skipping up the sidewalk. Her singing wasn't exceptionally loud, but as the lobby was empty, any noise would travel pretty far.

 

                ~They found the principal's head hanging from the flagpole. Oh, what a wondrous sight, Oh, what a wondrous sight...~

 

                Rafe opened the door just as she was reaching for the handle. She stopped singing, eyes widening slightly at the sight of the two detectives. She grinned and ducked her head in appreciation as Rafe held the door for her. The two men walked out, grinning themselves as the song started up again   
once the door had closed. ~But, oh, oh, what a horrible smell!~

 

                Rafe stared at the closed door, brow furrowed slightly. "Well, that was odd."

 

                "Yup," Brown grinned, slapping his partner on the shoulder. "Merry Christmas."

 


	6. O Holy Night

Christmas Carols? part 6

 

 

                The day was done, the sun had set several hours ago. By mutual agreement, everyone headed for their cars at the same time.   
  
                "Daryl, would you please stop singing that song?" Simon's aggrieved voice echoed in the nearly empty parking lot.   
  
                "Sorry, dad. It's just, it was cool. I'd never head anything like it before."   
  
                "Coming over for the poker game tonight, Simon?" Jim asked, trying to defuse the situation.   
  
                "Well, I had planned to. But I don't know if _someone_ will be able to behave."   
  
                Daryl immediately stopped singing, "I'll be good, dad. Promise."   
  
                The others hid smiles as their Captain examined his son, pretending to mull over the pros and cons. Daryl's breath came out in a rush of relief when his dad nodded. "Okay. But I don't want you singing that song anymore. Got it?"   
  
                "Got it."   
  
                "So you heard a strange Christmas carol, too?" Blair asked.  
  
                "Too? Yeah, we heard an alternate version of Silver Bells." Simon's face twisted in disgust. "What about you?"   
  
                "Jingle Bells. Only, it was definitely not a children's song."   
  
                "I'll never be able to listen to Winter Wonderland with a straight face, again." Joel said. He chuckled as Megan smacked his arm. "Bad pun, mate."   
  
                "How about you, Jim?" Blair asked.   
  
                "Deck the Halls."   
  
                Henri pointed at himself and Rafe. "We heard Joy to the World. Hope she doesn't really do what she sings about."   
  
                Rafe shook his head. "Well, remember? When she noticed us, she stopped singing. I don't think she meant for her song to be heard."   
  
                Blair agreed. "I had my window open, and when another professor showed up, she quickly changed the words."   
  
                The others thought about their own incidents, and concluded that none of the songs they had heard had been sung with the intention of anyone else hearing.  
  
                "I wonder what she would have sung if she'd known she had an audience." Jim speculated.

 

                A familiar figure appeared along the edge of the parking lot, where the trees bordered the pavement. The young woman walked hand in hand with a young man, the backpack slung over his shoulder now.   
  
                Her high, sweet voice rose and floated through the air. Expecting sarcastic lyrics once more, they stood in respectful silence at the words they heard.

 

                ~ Oh, holy night   
                The stars are brightly shining.   
                It is the night of the dear savior's birth.   
                Long lay the world, in sin and error pining   
                'Til he appeared and the soul felt its worth.   
                A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices,   
                For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.~

 

                She sang to her friend, the light from the streetlights illuminating her face. Her voice rose with emotion, the notes pure and achingly beautiful.

 

                ~Fall on your knees   
                And hear the angels' voices!   
                Oh, night divine!   
                Oh, night, when Christ was born.   
                Oh, night, oh, night,   
                oh, night, oh, night divine. ~

 

                She brought the song to its end, a smile lighting her face as the young man murmured something and kissed her cheek. Noticing the eight people at their cars, she straightened, and gave a wave, her happiness apparent in her voice. "Goodnight! Merry Christmas!"

 

The end.   
Now, that wasn't so bad, was it? :) 

 


End file.
